The Status of Relationships in Modern India [and the world]
By Divya Gupta
DISCLAIMER: Much of this article relates to the metropolitan-fast-paced-urban lifestyle which often leaves less or no respect and regard for relationships.
“I will love you all my life
Always be by your side
And I will give you all I have
Cause you gave me peace and joy….again, again, again….”
Love, the word itself strikes a million chords in our hearts. For each one of us it rings a different bell, for some their crushes, for others their boyfriends, and for some — their parents.
It is a very surprising web of emotions and love it is that binds us to other humans. The relationships are the foundations of our emotional and mental stability. No one can remain in isolation from other human beings and it is these various relations that help us survive and enjoy the life that we have been blessed with. A relationship is a deep emotional bond with another individual. The tendency to form a deep emotional bond to another individual is a universal feature of human life.
Modern relationships are very different from those in older times. A man need only accidently see a woman in a mode of undress and he would be obligated to marry her. Attributes such as purity, virginity, and celibacy were requirements for an unmarried woman. It would be quite difficult to find an adult female today who possesses these traits — atleast in metropolitans. However, an advantage to this freedom ensures that a man and woman today need not enter into marriage just for the sex. It seems to hold true also, that a relationship which suffers through unsatisfying sex doesn’t last. Which now is just about a breakup – not a divorce [eventhough the breakup can be equally heart wrenching at times]. “Gone are the days where you dated in high school or college and then he slapped a ring on your finger after graduation.”
These days’ relationships have an all-new meaning. They are short-lived, meaningless, at times only physical, and lately use and throw relationships seem to be the raging trend. Short-term relationships such as flings, one-night stands have become so common that the true essence of love seems to be lost somewhere. There is nothing wrong with having a no strings attached relation, but the emotional consequences (how much ever you may deny) that one has to bear are not justified. For today’s youth love is blended with lust and in this process they give up their morals, ethics and consciousness. We need to be careful about whom you have repeated intimate contact with – we are likely to form an attachment to that person. And once an attachment is formed, it can be very difficult to break. Without realizing this, individuals today are gallivanting around without giving their actions today a single thought. Love, soul mates, all these things seem to be of the past. And the worst bit remains that the realization quotient in people has become zero.
It’s this attitude that ‘it’s all about me, what’s good for me’ a bad thing? We’re all so selfish nowadays, and it seems to be having an effect — adverse. Depression rates are higher than ever. Ridiculously high expectations often render the relationship baseless.
It seems today that (women especially) are always trying to find the ‘perfect’ man ‘for them’. Are we all blind? Nobody is perfect. Yet we all are so ready to just give up, drop everything and quit when things take a bad turn. We don’t work on relationships any more. If someone slips up, we deem them ‘not right‘ for us, and we move on. Insecurities in modern relationships create fertile ground for infidelity and relationship “jumping”. Every woman wants an Edward Cullen and every boy a Bella [or the perfect on-screen couple]! With the equality of the sexes, Men can now look at women as capable and strong entities, capable of providing for themselves and others, women can do it all. When he no longer is “having fun” or enjoying the relationship it is just too easy for him to move on and start afresh, leaving the woman behind to be the responsible one and the male feeling no sense of guilt, because, hey, “She can take care of herself”.
Our relationships today are headed for a doomsday scenario if the present status continues. We have stopped valuing them and caring about them, forgetting in the process that relations are very delicate. They need to be handled with love and care and be nurtured with affection combined with warmth and fondness.
We have to understand that love abides in everybody and we have to learn to respect and value people. As individuals we need to understand other beings around us to live a peaceful and better life. Love teaches us to value, to care to forgive. And it is this beautiful feeling, which connects everybody. In this fast paced world that we are living today where love has lost it’s meaning, we need to recreate it and its passion. And endure in making the world believe and feel that there is nothing more beautiful in this world than to love and be loved.